Cabaret Confessional is pleased to introduce our new guest blogger Carla Conlin, an emerging cabaret artist who has written and performed sell-out shows at successive Adelaide Fringe, Adelaide Cabaret Fringe and the Melbourne Fringe. Carla is about to premiere her brand new cabaret Miss Conlin Confesses at the Adelaide Fringe 2012, which explores the challenges of juggling two completely separate lives. In the coming weeks, she will be dishing out some useful tips for cabaret artists that are living a double life and coach them on how to make it work.
By Carla Conlin
Sometimes enjoying ALL the wonders the Adelaide Fringe has to offer is hard enough, let alone being a Fringe artist with a full time day job. As an experienced juggler of both passion and profession, I’d like to share a few helpful hints so that you have a job to go back to when we are all suffering withdrawals at the end of March.
If you are planning to enjoy the Fringe to the max in 2012 and still front up at work each day, but would like a few hours or days off without raising suspicions, then this is the guide for you!
1. Consistency is the key. Get your stories straight before Fringe starts. It’s no good closing the tent flap after the circus act has bolted! Make sure all family members, friends and housemates know your alibi. You may wish to get into the true Fringe spirit and provide them all with short scripts to be read out convincingly in case of an emergency, such as a phone call from the office or a supermarket aisle encounter.
2. Have someone on the inside. If there is a work colleague you can trust, start buttering them up. No, I am not suggesting a new experimental theatre piece. I’m merely suggesting that if you have someone at work who knows the drill and can cover for you if need be, so much the better. Perhaps get them onside by taking them along to a show or two, but careful – make sure that they don’t get addicted, too.
3. Get some pets Not literally - you’ve got enough to worry about. Just pretend! I suggest a cat or dog. If you go for anything smaller, such as a goldfish, you’d be expected to flush it down the toilet and get on with your day. Make sure everyone in the office hears about your brand new furry friend and put a random picture you found on your desk. That way, if “Spot” or “Fluffy” becomes ill or heaven forbid, passes away, you have a few days of grieving up your sleeve. If you already have children, ignore this point, as you are set. You do so much for them - it’s time they did something for you! Children and their many needs are a great excuse for being late and needing days off.
4. Use the Fringe comedian’s material. If you see your boss about to question you on your late starts, early finishes or growing menagerie of pets, attempt to re-tell a joke from a comedy show you have seen. The more topical, the better! They will either enjoy it so much they will be distracted or feel far too awkward to remain in your presence after your poorly delivered punch line falls flat. Either way you win. I’d also suggest attempting magic tricks of feats of acrobatics, but they could get you fired for a bunch of other reasons.
5. BEWARE the Facebook! As much as you want to share the wondrous events at the Fringe, such as walking out of that groundbreaking new show or rubbing shoulders with big name artists at silent disco, it’s best not to post it all on Facebook. Be selective about the number of posts as well as the location and time of any check-ins. There are spies out there people, and what goes online stays online! A little stealth is in order, so lets not leave a trail of metaphorical breadcrumbs for the boss to find.
6. Hang out in the artist bar. If you can get a pass, at least you know you are safe to relax amongst friends here! It is highly unlikely your boss, or any of your work colleagues who have made the once a year outing will be there. Unless your boss is doing a show too, in which case, take the golden opportunity to buy them a drink at a discounted price and get on their good side.
7. Sickie Don’t make calling in sick the first option when things are getting a bit much. Feigning illness can be tricky because by the end of this rigorous three-week schedule (longer, if you are preparing a show) of little sleep, garden food and many, many alcoholic beverages, let’s face it, you probably will be sick - “Post Fringe Flu”, as it’s known in the industry. If this kicks in, four weeks off work sick requires some serious illness or disease. Which means, when you do go back you’ll need doctor’s certificates. If desperate, I suggest using classic excuses, like “the car wouldn’t start” or “traffic jam caused by an accident.”
8. Smart Phone? Smart move. If you’ve got it, work it. A mobile phone with Internet and email access could be your savior this Fringe. Other than the obvious genius of having the Adelaide Fringe 2012 Guide App on your iPhone, you can also keep up to date with office emails, even when you’re not there. If you have an hour or so free between shows one evening or on a Saturday afternoon, you now look like the dedicated employee doing overtime on the Weekend or 9:10pm. The world is your office.
9. Join forces. If you have access to cheap or free tickets to shows or special Fringe events, take your boss! They will be so impressed but the fringe benefits (pardon the pun) of your nightlife are that they will overlook a few sleep-deprivation induced indiscretions here and there. If you can, join forces with your friends and give each other some tickets to your shows.
10.Wild Card. If you have any holiday leave saved up, now is the time to take it. Who needs an overseas holiday when the best the world has to offer is landing on your very own doorstep? Get out and live it up!
Happy Fringe!
Love, Carla
Carla Conlin Bio: Carla Conlin has performed successfully in a variety of genres, including cabaret, theatre, film and dance. She is an emerging cabaret artist who has written and performed sell out shows at successive Adelaide Fringe, Adelaide Cabaret Fringe and the Melbourne Fringe. She was a member of the Australian Cabaret Summer School class of 2012 and has studied Acting at NIDA and the Australian Institute of Performing Arts. She also has an extensive background in dance and studied various styles including ballet, jazz, hip hop, modern and tap for over 20 years, as well as working as a freelance choreographer. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Drama and Film Studies from Flinders University and a Bachelor of Education – Middle & Secondary from the University of South Australia and teaches Drama, Dance and English.
Miss Conlin Confesses will debut at the Adelaide Fringe Festival 2012 and will be performed at Gluttony on March 7 to 11 at 6pm.
For more information and bookings, click here.
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Wednesday, February 29, 2012 at 4:18PM 
